Dirty Jobs - Christopher Moore

What are the guys that aren't Alpha Males? Why they are Beta Males of course! Charlie Asher is the quintessential Beta Male... amazed and terrified by women, passive aggressive, and perpetually panicking over his hyperactive imagination. Poor Charlie loses his wife during childbirth and is left a single dad to raise Sophie. Unfortunately for Charlie, he also acquired a new profession as his wife passed away. Charlie has become death, no not the death with the big D, more like the Santa's Elves of Death... he, along with a few other San Francisco residents collect soul vessels after people pass on and get them to their proper places. But poor Charlie doesn't get it... and to make matters worse he has quite the assortment of odd neighbors, employees, family, and random passersby to make his quest even more difficult. And if he doesn't succeed? Well then the Sewer Harpies will come out and plunge the world in Darkness.

Much like Moore's other books, the greatest amount of humor comes from the supporting cast. Lilly, the off-kilter goth girl who works for Charlie (you may recognize her from You Suck - She is Abby's best friend) Ray, who is Charlie's other employee at the antique shop, another Beta Male who is always looking for love on foreign bride sites. Then you have the foreign neighbors Ms. Korjev and Ms. Ling who help to raise Sophie while Charlie is trying to figure the Death thing out. And of course with this being in San Francisco you have the Emperor and his two sidekicks as well as a minor unidentified appearance from Jody (from Bloodsucking Fiends).

I found this book to be both hilarious and sweet. Charlie as a single dad is touching... panicking over everything that could happen to his new infant daughter, while having to deal with the loss of his wife and a new found concept of death. One can only assume (not only from the content of the book, but also from the acknowledgements) that this book was written after a painful loss on the part of the author. There is a little more soul searching than one is used to in a Moore book, but that doesn't keep the laughs from coming. I actually found the slightly more serious aspect to be refreshing and a great counterbalance to the humor that Moore is so famous for. By far my favorite characters are the two foreign neighbors, the scene with the dead hamsters is one of the funniest things I've read in a while, and the Hell Hounds were a wonderful addition... especially everyone's reactions to them.

True, many of the characters here are a bit stereotypical, but rather than detracting from the story, these stereotypes are molded into entirely new creations and made into characters that you can't help but to love. There is a plot here, and it is true that the ending is a bit weak, and not what the reader wants... but we don't read Moore for the plot, we read Moore for the wonderful people who inhabit his world. Because in the end, we all know someone just like them. I highly recommend this book, but would suggest reading it after "Bloodsucking Fiends" and "You Suck" because you will have a better appreciation for Rivera and the Emperor. That and since they all three take place in the same literary world, you might as well read them in order. Happy Reading!

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove - Christopher Moore

Madness... this novel is complete and total madness from beginning to end. Returning once again to Pine Cove we can only call this a sequel to "Practical Demonkeeping" in that it takes place in Pine Cove several years after Catch has been taken care of. The Demon is referenced once and several of the town's folk are back, specifically Mavis, owner of the "Head of the Slug" tavern, Jenny - Still working as a waitress, and HP, who is still recovering from Pine Cove's last battle with the bizarre.

Theo is the town constable of Pine Cove and boy does he have a rough week ahead of him. Starting with a suicide and ending with a random sea beast named Steve terrorizing and consuming the weaker minded people of Pine Cove, as Theo says - I didn't get training for this. The maddening series of events that drives this novel to its completely insane and fun filled ending includes the town shrink replacing everyone's meds with placebos, a mad biologist studying rats and chasing them all over town, A washed up and completely insane B-Movie queen tearing about town wielding a sword and wearing only her barbarian bikini, Theo's boss - The sheriff who has a few secrets of his own and Catfish - a blues singer who has seen Steve the Sea Beast before.

Moore manages to hit a level of comedic insanity in this book, without ever losing control of it, which is amazing in itself. As always his characters are strange, wacky, and entirely loveable. The plot, though insane, is always fun, and his dialogue is spot on. All Moore fans have their favorite book, this is rarely listed, the reason being that many of his others (Bloodsucking Fiends, Biff, and Dirty Jobs) have much stronger plotlines while retaining the completely mad characters that everyone falls in love with. This is stronger than his first novel "Practical Demonkeeping" but not as strong as some of his others. If you are an avid Moore fan, I would suggest reading this after Demonkeeping, if you have never read Moore before, I would suggest starting with either "Bloodsucking Fiends" or "The Gospel According to Biff." Still I highly recommend this to Moore fans, it's a fun ride and you will find yourself giggling throughout.

Parent note - Moore's books are NOT okay for kids. There is foul language, bizarre sex scenes, and often a few gross death scenes.

Carpe Jugulum – Terry Pratchett

The reviews here are quite varied on this book, they are all obviously written by Pratchett fans however one of the problems with being a Pratchett fan is that he has SO many novels that you are bound to find a few that aren’t your taste. I personally loved this book. My favorite of Pratchett’s creations include the Witches and the Guards series.

An attempt at a short summary:
The King of Lancre and his new wife the former Witch Margrat have their first child, and are holding the Christening ceremony. In The King’s usual attempt to be “Modern” he invites the Magpyrs, a family of Vampires from Uberwald. Vampires of course cannot go where not invited, so they capitalize on the invitation to take over the entire country of Lancre. The Vampire clan however, is obsessed with becoming “Modern” and is quite Yuppyish. They have made themselves immune to garlic, sunlight, religious symbols, and just about everything else that normally works against Vampires. Meanwhile Granny Weatherwax’s invitation to the Christening was stolen, so in a typical Granny fashion, she is off in a huff. The soppy priest of Om that comes to do the Christening becomes quite the major character, and the “Wee Free Men” make their first appearance. Add in Igor, the Vampire’s henchman who wishes things would go back to the way they are, and the Falconer who spends most of the tale hunting down a Phoenix and you’re in for a non-stop good time. Nanny Ogg and Agnes/Perditia Nitt are put into the position of attempting to rescue the kingdom from the Vampires without Granny.

The witches are all their standard unique selves, Granny stubborn as a mule but with a heart of gold, Nanny with her wild ways and lewd comments, Margrat with her new aged ideas but strong backbone when needed, and the newest of the coven – Agnes Nitt a very big girl with a thin girl trapped inside her. Agnes becomes a major character in this book and really develops her unique personalities. The Priest of Om also becomes quite an interesting character with his on again off again faith crisis. The Wee Free Men are entertaining, but hard to read, Igor is an absolute trip.

Some will say that this is a re-write of “Lords and Ladies” I personally didn’t find it so. Sure bad guys arrive and threaten Lancre, and the Witches step up to do battle in their round-about humorous ways. But then again what fantasy/sci-fi/action or horror doesn’t have bad guys showing up and good guys trying to stop them? Of Pratchett’s novels I found this one to be much darker than the others because the Vampires are quite sinister for one of his villains. Still I found this to be an amazingly humorous tale. The bickering between the witches, the family fights between the vampires, Igor’s wanting to make everything dusty and covered in spider webs and longing for the old-school days of his master, the Falconer’s obsession with trying to catch a bird he’s never seen, the Wee Free Men stealing anything they can get their hands on, and even Greebo.

The pace of the book is unbelievably quick, numerous characters come and go and you’ll find yourself wondering how all of this will tie in together. But you can’t put it down. I can attest to that first hand, I read way past my bedtime to finish the book because the action never stopped long enough for me to stick in a bookmark. The humor wasn’t as non-stop as in some of his other books, but the funny parts were hysterical. I found that this book had far more meaning to it than many of the others.

If you are first time Pratchett reader, I would not recommend this book as a starting place because some of the history of the witches is almost required to get full enjoyment out of this story. I can’t imagine that a first time reader would understand the concept of “Borrowing” from this book or get the humor of the “I ain’t dead” sign. This is one of my favorite of Pratchett’s novels so far.

Basket Case – Carl Hiaasen

Other than “Team Rodent” I had never read a Hiaasen novel until this one. I had always heard good things and had listened to him compared to many of my favorite authors. Last night I read Basket Case (actually I finished it… I started it yesterday). Now that I have finally read a Hiaasen novel, I must say, I absolutely loved it.

First, it takes place in my home state of Florida, which I miss immensely so it was nice to be back there, if only in my mind. Second, Hiaasen is an extremely intelligent writer, I have read many “Humorous” books that border on insulting in the implausibility department when it comes to straining for a laugh. Hiaasen never crosses that line. The story is first and foremost and the writing style is smart, witty, and simple to read. You never have to go back and re-read a line to figure out what he was saying, and you are also never insulted by the childishness.

The characters are interesting, funny, charming, likeable, quirky and most of all, extremely human. I never doubted these people, heck I think I’ve met them before. The plot is interesting and plays out like a mystery… you find yourself really rooting for our leading man Jack Tagger. The book follows Jack, a once rising star in the newspaper world who shot off his mouth at the wrong time and was reassigned to the demeaning world of obituary writing. He now suffers from neurosis that come with the job… an obsession with death, mainly his own and how old he’ll be when it happens. Up until now it has destroyed relationships and forced his career to dwindle to almost negligible. Then he covers the death of Jimmy Stoma, ex rocker and musical bad boy. Very quickly he decides that there is something strange about the death and the old reporter in him stirs…. And begins stirring up trouble.

The rest of cast of characters includes:
Emma - Jack’s editor and possible love/hate interest
Juan the Cuban Sportswriter and Jack’s best friend
Cleo – the dead rocker’s wife and aspiring pop diva
Janet – the dead rocker’s sister and arch enemy of Cleo
Carla – Jack’s ex-girlfriend’s daughter and club scene master

The crew gets even larger and more interesting… Colonel Tom is by far my favorite scene in the book, but I won’t go into detail, you just have to read that one for yourself. In the end the book is darkly funny, engaging, and fairly high speed entertainment toward the end when everything starts hitting the fan. I know Tim Dorsey is often compared with Hiaasen, but in reality there is no comparison other than the setting of their books. Dorsey is extremely over the top while Hiaasen is firmly grounded in reality… albeit a strange and demented reality, but a believable one none-the-less. I would compare him more with Vonnegut (minus the sci-fi aspect) than Dorsey, Pratchett or Gaiman.

Practical Demonkeeping - Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore’s Practical Demonkeeping

This novel was a surprisingly quick read, it is short and although not action packed, it manages to keep your attention from beginning to end. The writing style is very casual and humorous, slightly vulgar but not so much as to gain an “R” rating or to turn off the casual reader. There are drugs, but they are not glorified, there is sex, but it is not explicit and there is profanity, but it is not overwhelming.

The story itself is simple enough, one man (Travis) is cursed with being the “Master” of a Demon by the name of Catch, who is not entirely under his control and tends to eat people when he so chooses. Augustus Brine, the small town owner of a bait, tackle, and fine wine shop is suddenly visited by the king of the Djinn who charges him with finding the Demonkeeper and sending Catch back to where ever it is that the Demon naturally inhabits. The story follows not only Travis and Augustus, but also most of the small town of Pine Cove. Although this is a short book, you will find yourself introduced to more characters than seems possible, and wonder how on Earth this litany of characters will intertwine and affect the story by the end of it all. In this Moore does a fantastic job of never spending too much time on the characters that go nowhere, and managing to include everyone in the ending.

As I stated before, this is a quick and easy read, my only complaint is that in order to get to the resolution, Moore does break down into a long and over involved exposition by one of the characters (Travis) that I felt could have been either broken up better through the story, or told a bit more naturally. In the end the resolution makes the story work and certainly doesn’t let the reader down. The journey is a fun one and you have the opportunity to meet several very real characters along the way. No one is perfect, and no one is truly evil. In all it is a very human experience told through a very supernatural tale.

The Sirens of Titan - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

How does one even begin describing this book? Can you even sum up the plot and do it justice? Talk of Malachi and his adventures/mishaps or Beatrice… To we follow Roomford as he appears and disappears as the earth rotates? To we talk about the invasion from Mars? Or the years spent on Mercury? How to we discuss the plot when in reality the plot is only a vehicle to get the reader to the destination, the realization that Vonnegut is trying to make us come to. The best summary that I can come up with is that we follow Malachi/Unk through the end of his life… starting from his receiving a prediction that he would go to Mars, Mercury, back to Earth, and then to Titan… and ending at the end of his life and his journeys.

So what is this book even about? Well there’s religion, and the sense that God is not responsible for us, or our futures, rather we survive in a series of random accidents. Then there is the meaning of life, and the futility of the search for it. We have the satirical take on family, business, politics, and war. Then we have the long and involved satire of our purpose, and being used as humans toward a purpose that is both completely beyond our mental grasp, and not something that we would be happy to know about in the first place.

I personally cannot stand sci-fi so I put off reading this book for quite a while, even through I LOVE Vonnegut. In the end, the Sci-Fi aspect did not bother me because Vonnegut never spent all that much energy on that aspect. Sure they were on Mars, and Mercury, and Titan… and there was an alien life form or two and some spaceships… but as with the plot, the sci-fi aspect of this book is merely a vehicle to drive the reader to the proper conclusions. People are often upset that one cannot classify a Vonnegut book into any one genre; I find that this is because he is a philosopher who is wiling to take you to any extreme in order to open your eyes to what he views as reality. And what is Vonnegut’s reality? Simple – Life is a series of accidents, both good and bad. The Creator is off doing what he does best – Creating, not guiding our every movement and desire. And finally, that we shouldn’t put too much stock into our purpose, instead focus on just being nice, and being happy in the life that you have.

Even if you are not a fan of Sci-Fi I highly recommend this book. True it is not Vonnegut’s seminal work, nor is it his most humorous, but it has so many important themes running through it that it should be required reading in school. The number of discussions that can be had after reading and truly dissecting this book are amazing. The Simple line stated by Boaz on Mercury when he makes his decision, the true purpose of the Martian attack, the over all meaning of life. The ending of this book is a truly joyous, utterly ridiculous and yet so profoundly meaningful revelation that the reader cannot help but sit back and shake their head in both disbelief and astonishment, both appalled and amused, and most of all, completely unable to keep from wondering… is that what it really IS all about? Something so….. Now I don’t want to spoil it for you!

Though this book is only just over 300 pages, it took me longer than normal to read it, because you really don’t want to skim. The language is brilliant, and the satire is sometimes so deeply laced into what is being said that it can be easy to miss if you aren’t paying attention. As I said before, I highly recommend this book.